#nofilter

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Hi Lovelies,

Yes- it’s a double helping of me today. I couldn’t let Pride 2016 go without writing about it.  Last week was a difficult one. With many of us trying to make sense of what happened in Orlando, the murder of Jo Cox and then the shock of Brexit, finding things to be grateful for and staying positive was challenging.

Thankfully after all the pain and sadness Pride appeared as a beacon of love. Knowing London voted almost entirely to REMAIN, I was full of affection and pride for this amazing city I get to call home. Pride 2016 took that to a new level.  The sun came out, the rain came. the RED ARROWS came but most of all London came out in their thousands. Pride is always special. This year was momentous and I believe it will go down in history. We needed to find a happy place, we needed to raise our vibrations and we needed reminding that we are great. Thank you Pride and thank you to our awesome, diverse LGBT community for giving us the opportunity we were so ready for to show and feel love.

I am dumbstruck with pride and joy that I was part of the march. Thank you Food Chain for giving me the opportunity. We walked and danced across London cheered along by tens of thousands of people. The atmosphere was breathtaking. I spent a large part of the march fighting back tears of joy; knowing if they started, they wouldn’t stop.

London whistled and whooped, cheered , hugged, kissed and clapped. Nobody voted, nobody judged, nobody tolerated; we just loved.

Rainbow flags decorated our buildings and streets, a policeman broke ranks to propose to his boyfriend, our fantastic new Mayor Sadiq Khan spoke for all us in London when he assured the LGBT/ European community that you are welcome, you are appreciated and you have a home here.

I got to connect with men and women of all ages, races and faiths. We shared drinks, food, selfies and glitter. LOTS OF GLITTER. Thank you@AlanAsound 🙂 [still finding it].

I had a man tell me I was the happiest person he’d met all day. You had to have been part of it to even begin to understand what an enormous compliment that was.

I have to extend a huge, GIANT thank you to The Yard. You hosted the best night,  your wondrous punters absolutely gave in to my demands to hugs, you provided shelter not just from the rain but from the sadness and madness the past few days and weeks have sent us.

#NOFILTER is a pretty great moral to live your life by. I would add #CHOSELOVE.

At the end of it all my lovelies, LOVE is all we have. I saw two men with their beautiful daughter, they were all wearing t-shirts that said “LOVE created this family”. Let’s build a world where that’s true of every family. Love created us, Love will feed our souls. Stick 2 fingers up at hate, fear and tolerance and welcome in LOVE, TRUST AND ACCEPTANCE.

 

Or to make it simple. live by the mantra I was raised on “Everybody loves, everybody cries, everybody hurts, everybody bleeds”.

Chose Love 🙂

 

So…what makes you happy?

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Hello My Lovelies,

Ok so I have a really strange quirk that drives me crazy so I suspect has some affect on those around me. I NEVER see the ‘obvious’. In fact I’d like to BAN that word. “Isn’t it obvious?” people respond in answer to a question. If it WAS, I wouldn’t be asking, would I? Grr.  Also I like to reinvent the wheel. I know I do this, it’s exhausting but still I do.

Example? A few weeks ago I had a problem with my microsoft outlook mail. For almost 3 weeks I couldn’t send an email. I tried EVERYTHING I could think of. I asked friends, people in the queue next to me; I tweeted, I posted on Facebook. I googled. Nothing. Eventually very late one night completely frustrated I thought” Oh..I could try the MICROSOFT website. DOH. See what I mean? Half a hour later, I’d given remote access to my computer [how cool is that by the way? It’s magic] and it was fixed.

What’s my point you’re wondering? I’ve been writing to you all for almost 3 months now and it’s just occurred to me [The Happiness Coach] that I’ve not written about being happy!!

Sitting here in a coffee shop listening to The Smiths [not my choice but coincidental as you will see soon enough] with the rain pouring down, this seems like a good time to share my tips on how to get happy, fast when you’re having  a day that doesn’t naturally fill you with joy. I wrote this a week or so ago to give away to clients. Hope it helps all of you too. For those of you who appreciate irony. the music just switched and as I type about happiness the words around me are “Hello darkness my old friend”.

Top Ten Ways to Unleash your Joy Today

 

As a Happiness Coach I spend my time teaching how to learn to love yourself and find your inner joy and happiness. If you didn’t wake up this morning smiling, excited for the day ahead, filled with joy there’s a chance you haven’t learnt those skills yet.

Or maybe you have but you’re just having one of those BLEUGH kind of days. First let me tell you something super important.

It’s just a bad day, not a bad life

Decide NOW it’s going to get better and it will.  Now if you’ve genuinely had something terrible happen; a death of a loved one, you’ve received an eviction notice, lost your job you may not be dancing around the room grinning half an hour from now but you WILL feel better.  Here are my top ten ways to turn this day around.

  1. Count your blessings. The more grateful you are, the happier you will be. I know if you’re having a really bad day this may sound impossible but I promise it’s not. No matter what small thing you can be grateful for it will help shift your mindset. Here’s an example: Just lost your job? Be grateful that you gained experience and new skills in that job. Be grateful that you have a home to live in. Be grateful that you have electricity, running water. TODAY. You do not KNOW what is coming tomorrow. Be grateful for NOW.
  2. Go outside. Take a walk through the park, along the river, by the sea if your fortunate to live close enough. Live in the middle of a big built up city? Walk along your favourite street. Walk until you find something that makes you smile. It could be a beautiful house. A billboard advert. A couple in love. Physically changing your surroundings is a great way to change your mental state.
  3. Listen to music. No sad songs here. You will not WALLOW. Do not even consider anything by The Smiths, The Damned, Slayer; you get my point. Find something really cheesy. You know what I’m talking about. THAT song you turn off when somebody walks in the room. We’re going for serious happy here. I want you to elevate your mood. Feeling to sorry for yourself to think of something? Type ‘happy music’ into Spotify or YouTube.
  4. Watch your favourite movie. Again, this comes with a caveat. If you’re favourites movies feature serial killers, zombies, vampires you might want to break out of you comfort zone for an hour or so. Go to the Hallmark channel if you have to! Bring the feel good in. Think musicals, animation. Sci-fi, fantasy. Something that requires no deep thought; just let it wash over you.
  5. Get creative. Be mindful. Be in the moment. Think you can’t draw? So what! I’m not suggesting you approach the Tate. Draw squares or circles and colour them in. Print something off Google images and colour that in. Lose yourself in it. Write something. Happy. Do you believe you can’t write? Pick a word from the dictionary and see how many words rhyme with it. Cheat. Nobody cares.
  6. Be kind. Do something for somebody else. Never underestimate the power of kindness and gratitude. It is impossible to do a good thing and not feel bad good about yourself. Hold the door for someone. Check out volunteer opportunities locally. Are you down because you’re lonely? Look for ‘befriending’ schemes locally.
  7. BREATHE. I’m not suggesting you may have stopped but it’s amazing how quickly paying attention to your breath can make you feel better. Take a deep breath, hold it in for the count of 4, let it out. Do this several times. How does it feel? Put your hand over your heart. When you slow everything down and focus on your breathing, it gives you space to just be in the now.
  8. Don’t know how? Cheat! There are a million or so guided meditations on YouTube. You can meditate for 5 minutes or 8 hours. Explore. Everyone is different. I find one of the most successful meditation guides on YouTube has THE MOST IRRITATING VOICE. Every time I try to listen, I find myself getting stressed. Clearly that’s not the right one for me so I listen to others. Try until you find one that works for you.
  9. Do something just for you. Read a book. Take a bath. Make a cup of tea or coffee and sit on your own and drink it in peace. Enjoy it; don’t rush. Your partner, kids. Boss will survive without you for ten minutes. You’re not THAT important. Sorry, but it’s true. Even world Presidents and World Leaders get to take a tea break.
  10. The JOY BURST. This is great, takes minutes and you can do it anywhere. Your physical stance has more effect on your mental state than you know. Don’t believe me? Look in a mirror. Put a stupid exaggerated grin on your face [Joker style] and say “Your loser. I hate you.” Not really feeling it are you? Now lower your chin, hunch your shoulders, bring on the frown and say “I’m awesome. I can do anything.” Ready?
  • Stand up straight, head up, shoulders straight.
  • Arms outstretched, palms facing up
  • Take a big, deep breath and think of something that makes you really happy. Hold onto that thought. Breath out.

 

I hope this helps. Remember tomorrow is another day; a new start. If you’d like to know more about coaching, check out my website http://julielachtay.wix.com/mysite or email me directly at: letsfindjoy@outlook.com or my new shiny FB business page.https://www.facebook.com/letsfindjoytogether/

Love, Light and Happiness [choose it and it’s yours]

Julie

 

What have you got to be grateful for?

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Hello Again Lovelies,

Well it’s been an interesting week. I’m just going to front up and admit something to you all. I don’t LOVE technology. I have many gifts, skills, talents and several inner genuis’ [Genie..what is the plural of genius?] but technology is not one of them. I also admit I pretty much thought I’d cracked it when I BUILT MY OWN WEBSITE…ah, smugness brings it’s own ‘reward’.

Yesterday I had the following conversation with a very nice man in EE customer services:

Me ” My router isn’t working and I have no internet.”

Very Nice Man [VNM] ” Have you tried turning your router on and off again?”

Me ” Yes, I watch The IT Crowd”. [Very witty I thought- lost on VNM]

VNM ” Could you give me remote access?

Me” No- my router is not working. I have no internet.”

VNM ” Have you tried the reset button? Could you rub your tummy whilst patting your head? Can you hold your breath while spinning  your head?!

[ok so I’m paraphrasing but he asked me to carry out a number of tasks which took about 20 minutes.

VNM ” Ok, thank you for your assistance. I believe there is a problem with your router and you are not receiving an internet signal”

I did not make that up. He actually said this!!!!

 

So..bare with me new friends as I will be internet less for a while. On the bright side which Monty Python taught us is the best side to view anything from, I have a lot of time to catch up on all the work/ study/ reading I want to do without being distracted by the online world.

What’s this got to do with being grateful I hear you ask?! Everything. I got to spend the day with one of my favourite people. She was one of the first people to encourage me to write so I forgive the fact that she doesn’t actually read my blog.

We were talking about gratitude. I was sharing with her that I believe gratitude is the key to most things. If you’re not grateful for anything what would you have to be happy about? If you’re not grateful why would the universe go to the trouble of giving you all kinds of amazing things. Then..lets call her Priscilla [I like it, that’s why. Queen of the Desert]. Priscilla said she’s always grateful for the things she gets but not for the mundane things. Mundane? Like what. You know.. somewhere to live, a sofa to sit on, a kitchen, running water.[ I’m running wild with poetic license here. Priscilla is wondrous, joyful and I adore her. Please do not think she’s an ingrate spewing negativity into the world].

!!!!!!!!! No no no..people, if you’re not grateful for these things, the very things you take so absolutely for granted you don’t even know you’re doing it you’re missing the point. I have no intention of dwelling or trying to evoke sympathy but I promise you when I was penniless and living in a hostel it was these things I missed the most.

You’ve all probably had bad days..get to work late, miss a meeting, deal with a crappy client/ boss, run out of milk/ missed lunch….then you get home all grumpy and kick your shoes off, make a cup of tea/ coffee/ pour a glass of wine, make a sandwich, sit on the sofa, turn the TV on and sit there dwelling on how rubbish your day was. Nothing to be grateful for huh?

Let’s rewind that day a little..to the point where you go home..now imagine how the rest of that day goes when you don’t have a sofa to sit on, a tv to slump in front of, no kitchen to make a cuppa, nothing to make a sandwich with…or from.

Be grateful for the little things, all of them. Only waited 2 minutes for the bus? Appreciate that. Got a SEAT in rush hour…be thankful. Get a phone call/ email from somebody who loves you. Freaking awesome…sing from the rooftops.

You know what…you can even be greedy…though we spiritual types prefer ‘abundant’. The more you express your gratitude, your more reasons the universe will give you to be grateful. Don’t believe me? Try it. Tell five people you love that you love them and why. Be brave. Tell five people who might not know it. Or tell someone some thing that you love about them. That nice lady in the office that always offers to make the coffee…yep, tell her ” I’m so grateful. I love that you always offer to make coffee”. Watch her light up, check how you get the CHOCOLATE cookie not the stale rich tea. See her walk with a bit of a bounce. You did that. Feels good. The rest of the office might hear and they might tell her how grateful they are. Or they might think…I want some of that action. I want to feel appreciated and they might turn up the next day with flowers for the desk you share.

I don’t know what will happen but I do believe in miracles and I do believe we can set them in  motion so go on, be grateful, be appreciative…be kind.  It’s a gift you give to yourself as often as to someone else.

Go bigger- join forces with God himself [aka Morgan Freeman] http://kindness-365.org/

 

Love, light and happiness [choose it and it’s yours].

 

p.s…my coaching packages are now up and running and awesome. [Obvs- I wrote them] sign up now while they’re on offer http://julielachtay.wix.com/mysite or email me directly; letsfindjoy@outlook.com

 

Let’s talk about FEAR!!!

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Hi There Lovelies,

Well this will be fun, don’t you think? What did you think about the SECOND you read that heading? What are you scared of? What fills you with dread and stops you achieving your dreams? I don’t mean the obvious things like spiders and going to the dentist [Before any of you tell me you love going to the dentist and you sleep with your pet tarantula, know this. I do  not believe you. You are in denial.  Next you’ll be telling me you listen to country music and have a secret crush on Piers Morgan].

I’ve been telling you for weeks I no longer let fear hold me back. I AM COURAGEOUS. I tell you. Fear, I say…I believe in you, I know you have a purpose. I know without you I may well gasp ” Oh…cute” as I leap into the lion’s den for a quick snuggle. I know you will always be with me. What I didn’t know was that you still have power over me.

EEK. Who saw that coming? I’m here, living my life, riding the happy train. Life just gets better and better. I’ve achieved so much in the past 2 weeks I’m super proud of myself.  I built my own website from scratch!! Here- take a look  http://julielachtay.wix.com/mysite . Big deal you may be thinking? I regularly send texts that look something like this :

Hi..hope you

Oh.. **

Are having a LLjs  7%

Oh..NEW **

Well you get the drift. Technology is not my sweet spot. There were tears. I ranted. I begged for help, then refused it. ” I can do it MYSELF” my inner 2 year old said. I ate a lot of ice cream…but I did it. I caught up on posts for you lovelies. I set myself new goals. I wrote my first coaching package. The whole thing and designed and wrote a series of workbooks for it. That was a shed load of work but I did it.

I went off to Brighton for the day by myself and had a magical time.  Caught up with an old friend for coffee, went for a mammoth walk. Discovered enormous purple flowers as tall as mountains. I discovered the BEST EVER combination of ice cream flavours is DEFINITIVELY salted caramel and honeycomb. I fell flat on my ass [didn’t drop my ice cream though :)] . I took myself out for lunch with a glass of champagne in the marina. Feeling nothing but happy, joyful, confident and abundant.

Then I woke up on Tuesday and said to myself ” I am so grateful that today I get to pay my rent” and I logged into my account to do just that before getting on with some work and other fun stuff. Hmm. According to my bank account, it appears I have the absolute total of £70. That’s it. Not enough to pay my rent. Not enough to cover the bills. [Plenty for ice cream, coffee, avocados; the essentials in life].

WTF?! I thought. Ok- I promised I’d never lie. I may have yelled that out LOUD. How is this possible? I’ve clearly not been stressing about money. I’ve not been focusing on it. My gratitude wall is gradually taking over my flat. I genuinely feel abundant. The smart ass that lives in my head asked ” So where’s the poop?” [‘How I met your mother reference if you were wondering].

What am I doing to create this situation? I know it’s down to me. So I asked the universe to give me a clue. Show me what I’d done or said to give the impression that having no money and not being able to pay my rent makes me wildly happy because it doesn’t. Putting that out there so it’s clear.

Then I thought Id leave it out there and go goof off on Facebook a while. “You have saved **** links this week” it said. Thanks- like I need to be judged right now. Oh…I see what you’re doing. I watched  a Denise Duffield Thomas video on money blocks.  I squirmed a little. I re read some of her awesome book ” Get Rich Lucky Bitch”. DDT’s main, NUMBER ONE rule is simple. ” Don’t barter, don’t give anything away for free”.

I’d just taken on 3 non paying clients to road test my coaching package for me so I could then put their glowing testimonials on my website and wait for my incredible clients to start coming. Do you see what I did? Took me a while so I’ll tell you. I’m clearly so confident in my package and my ability to be a great coach [and my new Mama says so, so there!] that I absolutely expect glowing testimonials.

But…rookie mistake. By giving away my services, I sent a very clear message to the Universe that I’m happy working for nothing. That I feel absolutely 100% abundant not being able to afford my rent or by food!! Ok, so I may still feel abundant, I’m still super happy and I refuse to stress over this but that is NOT the message I want to put out there.

I’ve studied, I continue to study, I’ve worked my ass off while my gorgeous wee girl has been off in Corfu with her parents for two weeks. I’ve been to seminars, I’ve watched webinars. I’ve had coaching.  I was still clinging onto an old fear that I’m not good enough. I don’t believe that but it was there. Now that my lovelies is something to FEAR.

You don’t have to believe in something any more for it to come back and bite you in the ass. Remember how I told you that before I knew about the Law Of Attraction it worked brilliantly for me? Ok, so I was miserable, depressed, anxiety ridden, overweight, had no self esteem and ended up homeless….but only because that’s what I expected/ created and received.

Be mindful. Keep a look out for those deeply buried beliefs because if you haven’t identified them and shaken them off like a flea ridden coat…they’re still there, lying in wait to sabotage you.

I set fire to my flea ridden coat of fear. Want to now how…contact me for details on my awesome, hot off the press coaching package ” Self Love. The Road Map to Happiness”. Details on my website:

http://julielachtay.wix.com/mysite or contact me directly at letsfindjoy@outlook.com

 

Oh..and if you’re struggling with your own money blocks. Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V-Eg-crz7U

Be Lucky Bitches.

 

Love, Light and Happiness

Julie xx

All is [not] forgiven

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Hey There Gorgeous Ones,

I have a little confession. A few weeks ago I wrote about forgiveness and how important it is for you to let go of resentment, hurt or anger if you truly want to be happy. I told you all how I had to forgive Nigel. [Thank you so much to all of you who got in touch and for your kind words]. I told you how amazing it was to come out the other side of that.

There was something I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t lying to you- I WAS lying to myself. When you’re truly blessed and abundant you attract awesome people into your life.  I attracted Ginger Marie.  Hours after I wrote about how great I am for forgiving, Ginger Marie posted a challenge in the Facebook group about forgiveness. “I nailed this” I said rather smugly. ” Read my blog”.

Hmm..except I didn’t and I hadn’t. Nigel wasn’t the hardest brother to forgive. He was the easiest. I never had a second to doubt Nigel loved me. I didn’t have to deal with a reaction from him. I have another brother. I won’t share his name. It is my hope that he is reading this. It is my intention to heal, forgive, not to name and shame him.

You know I had some tough times. When I was in hospital after my failed suicide attempt, I had to see a therapist several time a day. I was told they contacted my brother as he was my next of kin and told him I had made a very serious attempt on my life. Now, in the movies, this is where your big brother stops in his tracks and travels across the world to take care of you. This wasn’t a movie. Seemingly, my brother’s response was “What do you want me to do about it?” I’m not gonna lie. That hurt. Even my therapist clearly had trouble accepting that.

A few weeks later I was placed in a hostel. It was terrifying. I was left in a tiny little room between two other residents who were both violent crack addicts. They played music at deafening music night and day- my room shook. They screamed and fought. I was too scared to leave my room. My social worker came to visit. He said and I quote “You know, the quickest way to get out of here and be housed is to attempt to kill yourself again”.

I sat in my room, shaking, terrified, helpless. I texted my brother and told him I was homeless, had no money and was terrified; that I needed him. He replied ” Is this really you Julie?” I responded that it was…and waited for his response. I waited for him to call. I waited for him to turn up. I waited for him to maybe send me some money so I could eat.

Who knew the text message you never received is the one you never forget. Dear ones…he never responded to that message. I felt so alone and so scared I cannot really explain.

 

But…that was long ago and I’m me now [the happy, flawsome, confident, witty wonder you’re all getting to know] so I forgave that. At some point I realised it wasn’t all about me. After all, we shared the same pretty hopeless parents and we both suffered the loss of our amazing brother- of course He would be as screwed up and dysfunctional as I had been. I went through my forgiveness ritual.  I was good. And then…days later I got a Facebook message from my niece. ” Hi. We have the same surname. I think we might be related” she wrote. I replied and said I was her Auntie and would love to hear from her. The next day I got an email from my brother. All breezy and chatty. “hey..long time. How are you? My daughter says you’re back in London”.

WTF!! Are you freaking KIDDING me? So you’re just going to gloss over the fact you ignored me and left me when I was homeless and suicidal? That is so not ok. I thought about forgiveness, about how I need to let go for me. I replied that I loved him, that I was sorry for the mistakes we made and that I forgive him. I said I was fortunate to have amazing support, that I’d had lots of therapy and help and I knew he hadn’t. I told him I could understand how he needed to tell himself a different story rather than face up to how he treated me. I get it. I really do.

His response…” I tried to contact you…here this is the last email I ever received from you” and he forwarded the email I’d sent from Thailand, 4 years ago. In the same email he was telling me he had no idea where I was or how to contact me…he was showing me an email he’d kept for 4 years…I’ve never changed my email address.

I told him that it’s taken a LOT of work to get to this happy place, that we have to do what we do, live with what serves us and that while I love and forgive him, I cannot make space in my life for him. I need to respect my peace and my heart.

 

You think that’s the end of the story, don’t you? I did. It would have been but then I heard Trent Shelton speak. I knew it wasn’t over. I knew I was blocking my brother out of my life . That I was consumed by pain and fear that i would let him into my life and he would hurt me, and not love me all over again. Now…you know my word for the year is ‘Courage’ and I’m committed to living my truth. I had a long talk with myself. I don’t KNOW any of that will happen. I could choose to believe this is another chance to start anew. To bring my brother back into my life. To get to know my niece and nephew while there is time. I can choose love over fear. I do. I choose love. Always.

I emailed him again, I encouraged him to read this and I believe he will. I’m still processing. I’m still hurting. But I am forgiving and I let go of the anger. It’s the only choice.

So big bro if you’re reading this. I’m sorry. I love you.

 

For those of you wishing you knew Ginger Marie. I am here to grant wishes. Ginger Marie is a Life Coach and Certified Angel Card Reader™. She works with women who are searching for a deeper level of happiness and self-love.  You can contact her and find out more about her here http://lifecoachgingermarie.com and become part of her amazing group here: http://facebook.com/groups/ichoosebliss

Also…you can come share your Joy with me: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1723565477918192/

Love, Light and Happiness

Julie

Just say YES! It may change your life

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Another gorgeous week has passed. It’s Summer. Just thought I’d remind you; when you live in the UK it’s not always clear but as long as you have sunshine in your soul, you’re golden.

Now, if you’re willing, I’d like to tell you a story. Last week, I had plans to go to a Meditation seminar on the Sunday afternoon. It was free and I was planning to go alone but I really don’t like to break commitments.  Saturday night, I was midway through my second cocktail [I don’t drink much so that’s the equivalent of about 10 to most people], my battery was almost dead and I got a message from a friend who has recently come into my life. The very lovely, selfless Lea Vendrami.

Lea invited me to join her at an all day event that she’d been given tickets to for the next day. Yes! My slightly drunk self said, sounds great.

Fast forward to the next morning. I slept until almost 9am [the event was starting at 11], I was feeling the un-joy of drinking cocktails. Who knew that alcohol feeds the bad wolf? Oh- pretty much everyone. His gravelly, growly voice started snarling at me.

“You made plans for today, you must keep them”. “The ticket says you have to dress smartly and you’re just a lazy scruffy ass”.  Then he got really spiteful. “The tickets were free, stay in bed, do nothing”. 

Now  I may have fed that nasty creature- who am I kidding? I tried. I sent Lea a message. Lea doesn’t have a bad wolf. She starved hers to death years ago. She called me out, made it very clear I was full of **** and that she was not going to enable my downfall.

A few months ago, I would have sulked, made up more excuses. Convinced myself it would be awkward and not gone. I chose to believe if Lea chose me as her guest, there was a reason. I hustled my ass across town and got to be a part of something truly incredible!!! I heard Warren Inspire Ryan speak [I also got a hug], I got to connect with and hug/ be hugged by people I’d never met.

You’ve all heard some cheesy evangelist ask “Can you feel the love in the room?”.  Just when I thought that day couldn’t get any better, oh my. A casually dressed guy with dreads and a baseball cap got up on stage and spoke words so powerful they are etched in my soul. I’m not shy about defining myself as ‘Athiest’ [with a very spiritual twist] but I remember bits of the bible. I recall people saying how Jesus was pure love, that when he spoke, everyone listened, that his power was love; or words to that effect. As I sat transfixed by this man, I could see how people might believe. I felt love vibrating around me. I had asked for a sign that I can do this- that I can be a great coach and help spread joy.

Then Trent Shelton, looked at me, smiled and said “Why would anyone ever believe they are not special when you were custom made?” Ok- so he is so incredible and powerful I don’t doubt that everyone in that room is certain he was speaking to them and not me. But, oh my. Those words landed on my heart and they filled it and I was dumbstruck.

I ALMOST MISSED THIS!!!!! I NEARLY DIDN’T GO!!!!  Think about this lovelies. Next time you don’t feel like it. You’ve got nothing to wear, you’ll have to get the bus because the tube isn’t running, you really wanna watch that episode of The Big Bang Theory for the 82nd time…you could miss something or someone that changes your life.

When this hit me on the tube home I started to shake and cry. I’ve done drugs, I’ve drunk bucketloads, I’ve had some seriously mind blowing, orgasms [Thank you- you know who you are] but nothing has ever mad me feel as high , happy and powerful as listening to Trent Shelton and being in a room infused with love.

I journalled and I shared and I gave up so much gratitude…and my week just got better and better. I’m not Trent Shelton, but I am living my truth and I promise you, the more grateful you feel, the more you will have to be grateful for. And…everyone needs an awesome friend like Lea Vendrami to call them out, lead them back to the light and encourage you not to ever let yourself down.

You know lovelies..there is no such thing as ‘like’ Lea, there is just one. Léa is a Life Coach,Speaker and soon to be Author guiding people to live extraordinary lives, let go of the blocks and limitations that are holding them back and in doing so fully step into their greatness. She works with people who want to live life to the fullest and experience abundance in not just one but all areas of life. Oh and she’s a bit of a media star too. Want to connect with her? [Hint- the correct answer is ‘YES!’].   www.leavendrami.com @LeaVendrami.

I’m grateful for Johanna Hazan; who has brought so much joy to my life I could devote a whole new blog to her, but especially for sending Lea Vendrami into my life. Lea- you know what you did for me. I’m grateful for Warren Ryan and I need a new word to appreciate Trent Shelton. And..I’m grateful to you lovely readers 🙂

What are you grateful for?  Join my FB group and share :https://www.facebook.com/groups/1723565477918192/

Love, Light and Happiness

Happy Talk

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You’re all still here?! How totally awesome.

So last week was a bit of a downer, wasn’t it? Glad I shared it with you but now I have another confession. Are you ready? It’s a tough one. I have mentioned, I’m only newly shiny and happy I think. I very much consider myself to be flawsome but still learning.

I had a real shock today. I had a bad day!!! Yes my lovely, golden, sparkly people. Me- little Ms Sparkle. I woke up my usual happy self, sun streaming through the windows, birds chattering. I eased myself into the day with a little meditation, blasted out my new anthem [I wanna be a billionaire]…and then out of nowhere the suckies landed.

” Nobody has signed up for your event” a voice whispered. “Nobody has bid on your old Iphone” [in a somewhat snarky tone]. ” You’re going to be all alone on your birthday because everyone has something better to do than be with you” [it taunted]. “No matter how much you meditate, and rewrite your script and believe….you still haven’t won on a single scratch card, the repair guys didn’t fix your phone. Just who do you think your kidding?” [Ok so now this voice was just plain mean].

 

Now I promised I wouldn’t ever lie to you. A year ago I would have crawled into bed, watched a sad movie, given in ..hell I’d have given up, set fire to my business cards, deleted my Meetup group and just succumbed to the dark side. [The force is strong in this one]. But a weird and wonderful thing happened.

Another voice popped up said “Remember the story of the wolf!!” So here is the story that started my turn around. It goes something like this. ” A wise Indian man told his grandson that inside every person lives 2 wolves. One is a sweet natured, loving animal who wants nothing more than to serve you, make you happy and encourage you to be the best version of you that you can be. The other is mean, dark and critical and totally gets off on your sadness and self doubt. [I may be paraphrasing here].

 

” But Grandad” the little boy says “Which wolf is the strongest? Which wolf is right?”

“The one you feed” All knowing, all wise Grandad replies.

I decided to feed the sweet loving wolf- I almost took it out for ice-cream 🙂 In my most indignant tone of handwriting I wrote “I wonder how many awesome people will sign up for my event in the next 4 days”? and booked a great venue. I called into to see the repair guys who apologised profusely and said one of them rushed off to casualty after an accident and in the confusion they forgot to give me a loan phone the boss had left for me…and gave me £10 off the cost of my repair. I missed a phone call. Nobody died.

I was invited to share a friend’s birthday, I got a voucher off my next Tesco shop. I turned it up a notch and played my happy song [I love you Kylie. Minogue not Jenner. PURLEASE.]

And then the universe gave me the most incredible amazing gift I could have ever asked for [actually I’ve been asking, manifesting, visualising and believing]….direct to my phone I got a message from a very old much loved , much loved friend that I’ve not seen or heard from in 15 years!!! He was my surrogate family- my stand in bf [who generously shared his BF with me for years], my shopping partner, my entertainer and my heart and we had one of those ridiculous friend break ups which hurt so deep it leaves cuts in your soul.

 

But if you keep the faith, fake it if you have to, feed the good wolf and refuse to give in the universe always rewards you. And I’m getting my chosen brother/playmate/platonic soul mate back.

Love, Light and  Happiness- choose it and it’s yours.

 

Julie

The hardest person to forgive ….

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Hi There Lovelies,

So I thought I’d go deep and share the tough stuff this week. One of the big things I’ve had to learn is that you need to let go of any resentment you have if you have any hope of finding inner peace and happiness.

Now that may sound obvious. It may sound difficult. It may sound impossible. I promise it’s not. I had great advice and I started with a list. I told myself I was a good person and didn’t hold grudges so I could write a list and wiz through.

I couldn’t and I didn’t. There was a name that somehow got on my list that I needed to forgive. That name was Nigel. Nigel was my brother. Yes, he WAS my brother. He is no more. How could I possibly resent him? What did I need to forgive him for?

I didn’t grow up in the Brady Bunch/ Walton variety of family. I didn’t feel loved, or safe, or wanted. There wasn’t a time in my life that I didn’t know my Mother wished she’d never had me [let’s gloss over that- I found that understandable and easy to forgive]. But…I had Nigel. He was my best friend; he was my hero; he was my protector; he encouraged me to dream; he gave me a love of travelling; he taught me it was ok to cry when I was 13 and didn’t know how to stop. He took me on amazing days out. He spoilt me with gifts. He loved me so much I felt it like a protective cloud around me at all times.

Not everyone has that so what was there to forgive? Well..turns out what I needed to forgive him for was dying and leaving me. He promised he would always be there to take care of me and love me and then he went away when I was 14 and he never came back. He left me scared and alone and heartbroken. He left me adrift in a world I wasn’t old enough to understand. He left me with nobody to love me, listen to me, protect me, understand me….and he never said goodbye. He never said sorry. He never taught me how to survive without him. He never told me a world without him was even a possibility.

I do not have the words to describe the soul breaking pain his loss has caused me. There is still not a week goes by that I do not think of him, that I do not miss him, that I ask myself if he would be proud of me [Well- DOH. He freaking adored me so I know he would be.]. I will carry his memory and the memory of how he loved me inside my heart until it stops beating. I will never stop missing him.

But I did it. I forgave him for leaving me and I turned it on its head and showered him with gratitude. I thank the universe that it deemed me worthy to share in his light that shone so bright the world couldn’t sustain it.  I chose to be thankful that of all the people that could have received him as their brother that it was me that scored that honour.  I choose to see it as a sign that I must be pretty damn special or I wouldn’t have been given the gift of Nigel Lachtay.

You won’t see it on my gratitude wall; I won’t write it daily but my heart, my soul and the universe knows I am grateful beyond words and measure that I knew him and was adored by him. And the smile I greet each day with is for him.

So trust that you can forgive. That it may be tough. It may hurt. There may be tears. LOTS of tears but it feels so good.

 

Now…go forgive and be happy because happiness is your divine right and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

 

Love, light and happiness

Do you want to know a secret?

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If you said No, you’re not nearly inquisitive or nosy enough to be here!!! You may have heard of/ read/ seen The Secret. Personally I found the movie so scary in places I had to watch it with my eyes clothes [It was the old guy with the eye patch and raspy voice that reminded me of The Smoking Man from the X Files!].

Now it’s been 3 weeks and I count you all as friends. I may have mentioned that I can be lazy so I’m going to tell you a secret [or possibly THE SECRET] that will save you hours/ months/ years of reading and watching videos. You already possess EVERY THING you need to be happy. Yes- even you. No job? No money [snap!] No family? No partner/husband/lover/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend? Doesn’t matter.  Not one bit.

Wait- don’t give up and write me off for being mean or talking rubbish. I promised I wouldn’t lie to you and I meant it. I didn’t say it was easy [actually it is but we’ll get to that] but it is true. It takes time to get your head around, especially if you’ve spent years being taught [by your friends.family, colleagues, teachers, manufacturers] that ‘Happy’ comes from a store, from working hard for somebody else, from getting great grades, from being tall/ short. fat. thin/ having glossy hair or perfect skin, long eyelashes, bushy eyebrows, a thigh GAP!!!!

 

As long as you believe you ” will be happy when………” you won’t be happy. Don’t believe me yet? If you could look at my life on paper [and compare my bank statements] now and 6 months ago you would see very little difference. Ok- there’s quite a lot less of me but I could easily fixate on the fact that having lost about a zillion kilos in weight I now have no tits, I have roughly 3 outfits that fit me as I can’t [yet] afford to buy new clothes and that my skin hasn’t snapped into place so If I wear a bikini/ shorts/ short sleeved top all you can see is WRINKLES!!! FFS…WRINKLES…they’re in my thigh gap. Nobody told me that would happen, LOL.

I have less considerably less money after a drastic miscalculation on my part I’ve been under paying my rent for…oh forever and now have to magically pull an extra £200 a month out of thin air.

 

I have a new neighbour who has spent so long pulling up floorboards and knocking down walls I’m surprised she has any left and this is the first day in weeks I haven’t been driven out of  my flat by the noise.

 

But none of that matters and I’m happier than I’ve ever been 🙂 How? Simple- see above. I finally got it; happiness is within. We have a choice. We can choose what to think/ believe and feel. Think about that for a second and how amazing that is.

I gave you a clue above if you were reading closely. I COULD fixate on the fact I have no money, hardly any clothes and WRINKLES in places I didn’t know I could get wrinkles but I CHOOSE not to. Why would I? That’s messed up. That wouldn’t make me happy. I CHOOSE to be happy and grateful for what I do have. Every day. I am healthy. I do have a flat to live in. I do have awesome friends, I qualified to do a job I’m really excited to start doing. I do get to spend 30 hours a week taking care of the sweetest child in the world who is genuinely my favourite person on the planet [sorry all]. I can go online ANY TIME  I want and meditate or listen to music or watch a movie or listen to somebody amazing give a lecture on….well just about anything. I make incredible banana bread which I even eat occasionally. I look freaking awesome in each of my 3 outfits which is a lot better than looking bloody awful in the 40 or so I had 6 months ago. I can smile/ laugh, dance or walk whenever I want to.

 

It’s just choice peeps….what do you choose?