So…what makes you happy?

Hello My Lovelies,

Ok so I have a really strange quirk that drives me crazy so I suspect has some affect on those around me. I NEVER see the ‘obvious’. In fact I’d like to BAN that word. “Isn’t it obvious?” people respond in answer to a question. If it WAS, I wouldn’t be asking, would I? Grr. Also I like to reinvent the wheel. I know I do this, it’s exhausting but still I do.

Example? A few weeks ago I had a problem with my microsoft outlook mail. For almost 3 weeks I couldn’t send an email. I tried EVERYTHING I could think of. I asked friends, people in the queue next to me; I tweeted, I posted on Facebook. I googled. Nothing. Eventually very late one night completely frustrated I thought” Oh..I could try the MICROSOFT website. DOH. See what I mean? Half a hour later, I’d given remote access to my computer [how cool is that by the way? It’s magic] and it was fixed.

What’s my point you’re wondering? I’ve been writing to you all for almost 3 months now and it’s just occurred to me [The Happiness Coach] that I’ve not written about being happy!!

Sitting here in a coffee shop listening to The Smiths [not my choice but coincidental as you will see soon enough] with the rain pouring down, this seems like a good time to share my tips on how to get happy, fast when you’re having a day that doesn’t naturally fill you with joy. I wrote this a week or so ago to give away to clients. Hope it helps all of you too. For those of you who appreciate irony. the music just switched and as I type about happiness the words around me are “Hello darkness my old friend”.

Top Ten Ways to Unleash your Joy Today

As a Happiness Coach I spend my time teaching how to learn to love yourself and find your inner joy and happiness. If you didn’t wake up this morning smiling, excited for the day ahead, filled with joy there’s a chance you haven’t learnt those skills yet.

Or maybe you have but you’re just having one of those BLEUGH kind of days. First let me tell you something super important.

It’s just a bad day, not a bad life

Decide NOW it’s going to get better and it will. Now if you’ve genuinely had something terrible happen; a death of a loved one, you’ve received an eviction notice, lost your job you may not be dancing around the room grinning half an hour from now but you WILL feel better. Here are my top ten ways to turn this day around.

Count your blessings. The more grateful you are, the happier you will be. I know if you’re having a really bad day this may sound impossible but I promise it’s not. No matter what small thing you can be grateful for it will help shift your mindset. Here’s an example: Just lost your job? Be grateful that you gained experience and new skills in that job. Be grateful that you have a home to live in. Be grateful that you have electricity, running water. TODAY. You do not KNOW what is coming tomorrow. Be grateful for NOW.
Go outside. Take a walk through the park, along the river, by the sea if your fortunate to live close enough. Live in the middle of a big built up city? Walk along your favourite street. Walk until you find something that makes you smile. It could be a beautiful house. A billboard advert. A couple in love. Physically changing your surroundings is a great way to change your mental state.
Listen to music. No sad songs here. You will not WALLOW. Do not even consider anything by The Smiths, The Damned, Slayer; you get my point. Find something really cheesy. You know what I’m talking about. THAT song you turn off when somebody walks in the room. We’re going for serious happy here. I want you to elevate your mood. Feeling to sorry for yourself to think of something? Type ‘happy music’ into Spotify or YouTube.
Watch your favourite movie. Again, this comes with a caveat. If you’re favourites movies feature serial killers, zombies, vampires you might want to break out of you comfort zone for an hour or so. Go to the Hallmark channel if you have to! Bring the feel good in. Think musicals, animation. Sci-fi, fantasy. Something that requires no deep thought; just let it wash over you.
Get creative. Be mindful. Be in the moment. Think you can’t draw? So what! I’m not suggesting you approach the Tate. Draw squares or circles and colour them in. Print something off Google images and colour that in. Lose yourself in it. Write something. Happy. Do you believe you can’t write? Pick a word from the dictionary and see how many words rhyme with it. Cheat. Nobody cares.
Be kind. Do something for somebody else. Never underestimate the power of kindness and gratitude. It is impossible to do a good thing and not feel bad good about yourself. Hold the door for someone. Check out volunteer opportunities locally. Are you down because you’re lonely? Look for ‘befriending’ schemes locally.
BREATHE. I’m not suggesting you may have stopped but it’s amazing how quickly paying attention to your breath can make you feel better. Take a deep breath, hold it in for the count of 4, let it out. Do this several times. How does it feel? Put your hand over your heart. When you slow everything down and focus on your breathing, it gives you space to just be in the now.
Don’t know how? Cheat! There are a million or so guided meditations on YouTube. You can meditate for 5 minutes or 8 hours. Explore. Everyone is different. I find one of the most successful meditation guides on YouTube has THE MOST IRRITATING VOICE. Every time I try to listen, I find myself getting stressed. Clearly that’s not the right one for me so I listen to others. Try until you find one that works for you.
Do something just for you. Read a book. Take a bath. Make a cup of tea or coffee and sit on your own and drink it in peace. Enjoy it; don’t rush. Your partner, kids. Boss will survive without you for ten minutes. You’re not THAT important. Sorry, but it’s true. Even world Presidents and World Leaders get to take a tea break.
The JOY BURST. This is great, takes minutes and you can do it anywhere. Your physical stance has more effect on your mental state than you know. Don’t believe me? Look in a mirror. Put a stupid exaggerated grin on your face [Joker style] and say “Your loser. I hate you.” Not really feeling it are you? Now lower your chin, hunch your shoulders, bring on the frown and say “I’m awesome. I can do anything.” Ready?

Stand up straight, head up, shoulders straight.
Arms outstretched, palms facing up
Take a big, deep breath and think of something that makes you really happy. Hold onto that thought. Breath out.

I hope this helps. Remember tomorrow is another day; a new start. If you’d like to know more about coaching, check out my website http://julielachtay.wix.com/mysite or email me directly at: letsfindjoy@outlook.com or my new shiny FB business page.https://www.facebook.com/letsfindjoytogether/

Love, Light and Happiness [choose it and it’s yours]

Julie